My First Blog

So, today I embark on my first blog entry.
I'm not good at keeping a journal, so I'm not sure if I will keep up with this.
I'll just say it's an experiment.
I don't really count on anyone reading this anyway.

The notion that I have anything of importance to offer to the vastness of cyberspace is self-indulgent and speculative anyway. But here goes:

Today marks a number of strangely random milestones in my life. Three days ago my oldest child turned 19. Yesterday I served on Jury Duty for the first time in my life. One week from today I will begin a momentous trip to Washington DC. By the end of this month I will no longer live in the same place that I have lived for the past five years, yet I do not yet know where I will live.

I've found that packing one's belogings allows a glimpse into the past that has quickly been forgotten. Things that have been put back into a cupboard and stored for so long are rediscovered only to be quickly put away again into a dusty box or discarded or set aside to hopefully find a new owner. I have put off packing. Since I'm not sure where I'll be or how much room I'll have when I get there I have avoided making those crucial decisions. Do I keep this? Do I want to store this? Can I live without this?

I used to love moving. I liked to organize my things and could pack, move and unpack within at least a week. When the kids were much younger I could unpack the entire house and have it all in order within a day or two. Now I'm not as motivated. Since I've lived in this house I still haven't managed to completely unpack from the previous move and hadn't even recovered from the move before that or from the move two moves ago, maybe three. I've noticed the motivation, or even the ability to do very much other than work and school has greatly diminished since about seven or eight years ago. Back then the pain was so bad I spent much time in either the doctor's office or the ER. Learning my limitations has taken a while and those limitations never seem to keep constant. Now that the pain is more managed I've noticed the fatigue has taken over and motivation has almost disappeared. School has changed from attending classes to logging onto my computer and work has transitioned from being up and active for most of the day chasing teenagers around a classroom to sitting at a desk in front of my computer for the majority of my work time.

Yet, I'm still exhausted when I come home.
This semester there will be no school.
I need a break.
Even then, I dread packing.
I'm sure I'll find some newfound source of energy when I find the right place to go.
At least I hope I do.

For now the stress will seemingly sap at my strength untill I find that right place where I can unpack my boxes and put things away into empty cupboards only to be forgotten until the next time crisis arises and I have to move again.

Next week I'll need to muster enough energy to alone navigate a cross-country trip with every night planned out. The excitement will undoubtedly keep my going.

:)
m